I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize