Nicole vs. Life
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
