I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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