So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
