dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
