the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
