her vagine was all disorganized.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
