So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
