That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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