I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
