pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
