$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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