I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
