So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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