Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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