The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
