Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize