I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
