Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
