I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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