Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
