After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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