I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
