normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Randomize
