i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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