I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
