can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
