I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize