Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
