The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
