god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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