You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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