I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize