He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
