you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
