i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Green mimosas i think yes
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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