it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
