He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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