my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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