need another drink. this is the easiest way
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
