well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
