Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
