Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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