...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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