You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
