Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
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