hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
