I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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