I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
