So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
