and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
