I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
