No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
