Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize