I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
