So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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