Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
