My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
