Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
