Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
