Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
