Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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