Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize