the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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