yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize