what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
