I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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