I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
