i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
