man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
