I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
