i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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